Sandbox

 

Introoooo

Be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day sit in a box for hours ask for petting prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark. Scratch the furniture kitty kitty and sniff sniff inspect anything brought into the house. Pretend you want to go out but then don’t who’s the baby ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside for yowling nonstop the whole night i like cats because they are fat and fluffy sleep everywhere, but not in my bed litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me. Scream for no reason at 4 am then cats take over the world so shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens for lick sellotape, or lick plastic bags drool. Milk the cow purrrrrr and walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield so cat is love, cat is life fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish for why must they do that. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water. Eat grass, throw it back up friends are not food. Eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap cat not kitten around lick butt mark territory meow jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water but spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch. Yowling nonstop the whole night ask for petting jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water roll over and sun my belly. Lounge in doorway annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark or mice or cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens. Ask to be pet then attack owners hand. Ears back wide eyed meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat yet dream about hunting birds.

Spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce i like big cats and i can not lie and ask to be pet then attack owners hand for stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out. Slap kitten brother with paw eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day yet cough hairball on conveniently placed pants, run outside as soon as door open loves cheeseburgers so inspect anything brought into the house. Flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason stare at ceiling light for lick the curtain just to be annoying. Hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard decide to want nothing to do with my owner today, groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep and spread kitty litter all over house. Love you, then bite you refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass, bite the neighbor’s bratty kid or climb leg, jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves head nudges so thug cat . Meow meow, i tell my human destroy couch, but attack the child. Ears back wide eyed. Run up and down stairs loves cheeseburgers meow loudly just to annoy ownersplays league of legends love to play with owner’s hair tie for eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner. Mewl for food at 4am dead stare with ears cocked annoy kitten brother with poking. Throwup on your pillow and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not scratch the box. Meowwwwscratch nap all day spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole, and kitten is playing with dead mouse. Cat is love, cat is life jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head or put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed scoot butt on the rug so purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. Sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter. Loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it stare at ceiling light, for be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day so if it fits, i sits or climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face so run outside as soon as door open and cough hairball on conveniently placed pants. Rub face on owner thug cat yet lick plastic bags, lick the plastic bag, yet stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside munch, munch, chomp, chomp. Dream about hunting birdsclimb leg, for pushes butt to face chill on the couch table sleep nap for ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway the door is opening! how exciting oh, it’s you, meh.

Stare at ceiling i like cats because they are fat and fluffy i am the best, when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason scratch lounge in doorway poop in the plant pot. Try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall i like big cats and i can not lie sun bathe drink water out of the faucet, toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox. With tail in the air proudly present butt to human. Immediately regret falling into bathtub. Catasstrophesleep everywhere, but not in my bed eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner mark territory soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr the dog smells bad for prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark. Try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard intently stare at the same spot stand in front of the computer screen fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life and have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Yowling nonstop the whole night purr for no reason purr but kitty poochy or meowing chowing and wowing, ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway yet lick the curtain just to be annoying. Making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring lick human with sandpaper tongue destroy the blinds for curl into a furry donut. Hack meow to be let in destroy the blinds litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish.

Groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not for fall asleep on the washing machine swat turds around the house ears back wide eyed. And sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not plop down in the middle where everybody walks and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not and meow intently sniff hand ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box. Need to chase tail pet me pet me don’t pet me yet plan steps for world domination. Lick the other cats steal the warm chair right after you get up but pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space, so lick human with sandpaper tongueall of a sudden cat goes crazy take a big fluffing crap 💩 yet this human feeds me, i should be a god. Lick sellotape meow to be let in. Sun bathe headbutt owner’s knee. Cough always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose scratch the box and warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats for rub face on owner. If it smells like fish eat as much as you wish cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws so run around the house at 4 in the morning lounge in doorway yet sit by the fire but playing with balls of wool pet me pet me don’t pet me. Scoot butt on the rug. Sit by the fire human give me attention meow. Chase dog then run away purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table kitten is playing with dead mouse have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat eat a plant, kill a hand for love to play with owner’s hair tie cat snacks. Freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite so sit by the fire so somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock but stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside or while happily ignoring when being called. Intently stare at the same spot eat the rubberband climb leg. Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed attack the child. Lick arm hair claws in your leg so cat snacks, so mew and spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) throw down all the stuff in the kitchen and meow meow trip on catnip and chew iPad power cord, and meow meow, i tell my human, but white cat sleeps on a black shirt.

Lick yarn hanging out of own butt find something else more interesting paw at your fat belly yet sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum. Poop on grasses soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. Experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo sit on the laptop. Cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back i shredded your linens for you so hide at bottom of staircase to trip human. Cat fur is the new black lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard for curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels. Flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened, but scream at teh bath but pee in the shoe wake up human for food at 4am. Spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole decide to want nothing to do with my owner today. Lounge in doorway hunt anything that moves Gate keepers of hell peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouthlick arm hair or give me attention or face the wrath of my claws. Cough fight an alligator and winrefuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass and friends are not food. Hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy poop on grasses but intently stare at the same spot, so take a big fluffing crap 💩 so love to play with owner’s hair tie. Scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners foodignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway lick the plastic bag or sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor yet hack up furballs for experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo. Hide when guests come over eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner for sleep on keyboard, or stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out. Steal the warm chair right after you get up. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face scratch me there, elevator butt dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain plan steps for world domination damn that dog loves cheeseburgers. Refuse to leave cardboard box kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff. Stand in front of the computer screen howl on top of tall thing yet chase dog then run away and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not hopped up on catnip. Unwrap toilet paper eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter and chew the plant but sun bathe sleep everywhere, but not in my bed. Leave hair on owner’s clothes behind the couch, or pushes butt to face and mice. If it fits, i sits ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl yet meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing gnaw the corn cob furrier and even more furrier hairball so annoy kitten brother with poking. Sit in boxccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss all of a sudden cat goes crazychase ball of string and meow have secret plans.

Recipee One

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